Food Addiction Blog

I am now into my third month of trying to regain my focus.  I have good days and some that are not so good, but I have, for the most part, been able to avoid the out of control days.  A good day is one where I am able to stay within my comfortable range of 1800 to 2200 calories and a bad day is when I am eating 2200 to 2800 calories.  An out of control day means I have consumed over 2800 calories that day.

Was having dinner last month with my friends Buzz, Tom, Leo and George.  Buzz made the comment that he admired my discipline.  My initial response to that statement was to say that I had no discipline at all, which was why I had such a severe eating disorder.  I told him that what he was, in fact, witnessing was my obsessive compulsive behavior being used to my benefit to help me control my eating problem, rather than my eating problem controlling me. The fact is that I cannot do anything in moderation.  After forty years of trying to understand why I could not control my eating, I finally realized that there is no answer to that question.  My obsessive compulsive personality disorder is not curable, but I have found that the solution to this disorder is in redirecting my energy and focusing it in a positive way.

I have directed my obsessive compulsive behavior toward exercise and obsessing over my eating program.  Even when I am not entirely on track with my eating, as has been the case for the past three months, I am still focusing on what my eating habits should be and trying to get back on track. For some reason, my exercise program never seems to be a problem as it relates to desire or intensity of the workout.  I never seem to lose my focus as it relates to exercise.

Can anyone out there relate to what I am saying?  Please share your thoughts and experiences so we can get some dialogue going on the subject.  Maybe then, we can all understand it a little better.

If I decided not to go to the gym on days that I was feeling discomfort or pain, I fear that I would never go. I always seem to be dealing with one problem or another.  It might be something wrong with my feet; either a callous on the bottom of my foot or a soreness in the instep that becomes a pain on the heal of one foot or the other.  My right wrist bothers me more often then not. I need a third surgery on my left shoulder that I am putting off because there is not much they can do short of a replacement and I'm not ready for that yet.  I seem to have chronic problems with muscle spasms in my lower back. I had both of my knees replaced seven years ago and from time to time I have inflammation and soreness due to overuse. Recently, I had a bad bruise on the inside of my right thumb which made it painful to grip the bar or dumbbell in the traditional way. As the saying goes, if its not one thing, it's two.

Through it all , I continue to get up in the morning and go to the gym. You improvise, you adapt and you do what you have to do to get through the workout.  I change my grip to take pressure off my thumb.  I limit my range of motion and never let the barbell travel behind my head.  I keep my thumbs up on lateral moves and I listen to my body and take it easy on my back when I need time to work through an issue.  I regularly see the foot doctor to scrape callouses and cut my toenails to prevent problems.

My fear is getting hurt to the point where I am unable to go to the gym.  I work through all the issues mentioned here because I find that I feel better working through the pain and using the parts that are causing me problems, rather then resting them.  They seem to lubricate and, consequently, work better when I use them.  Age may have something to do with it.  Long term use may actually mean that wear and tear is catching up with my 61 year old body.  But, I am undeterred because the great feeling I get from being fit is worth the pain.  I know that I will continue my five or six days a week in the gym for the rest of my life.

Tell me how you deal with your pain and discomfort.

Two more weeks have gone by and I am still trying to get back on track. The mornings start out good, but by noontime I start to feel the cravings begin and  have not been able to control the urges to eat those foods which are not included in my planned eating program.  I am at the point where I am getting angry with myself for being so stupid as to think that this time would be different; that this time I could stray from the plan just a little bit and get right back into it when I was ready.  Didn't ever happen that way before, and there's no reason to believe it will happen that way now.

I think that because I at least understand what is happening to me now, I can catch myself before too much damage is done. I am holding right now at 194 pounds, which is up two pounds.  I am deeply concerned about this problem and this little slip-up is very distracting. I devote way too much of my time each day to resisting temptations and cravings and I am having only moderate success.  I have been eating sandwiches and pizza in addition to my cottage cheese and tuna for lunch and one morning I had a bran muffin.  After dinner, I have been eating nuts and pretzels in addition to the normal bowl of bran based cereals.

I am desperately trying to get my focus back.  I know that if I can just get six or seven perfect days in a row, the cravings will go away and I will be back to focusing on eating right.  I am most comfortable when I am on the plan.  I am able to spend more time improving my business, enjoying my family, friends and hobbies and improving my relationship rather than worrying about loosing control. 

Do you have the same problem?  Please share how you deal with it.  I need help and any new insight I may gain from others is always appreciated.

I am now five weeks into this struggle of staying focused.  I haven't lost it, but I am certainly out of the groove I had been in since early July of 2011.  I have given in to temptation and eaten some things that I consider "trigger foods" which I had been staying away from completely for the last six months. The struggle goes on, with a couple of good days followed by a bad one. A good day is a day of strict eating, taking in around 1800 to 2000 calories of clean foods.  On a bad day I may hit 2700 to 2800 calories by eating stuff like a cookie or toast with butter and peanut butter or pizza in addition to lunch rather than for lunch.

I have kept my weight at 192 to 193 pounds, but it is not easy anymore.  When I was focused last year, it was effortless to maintain. The non-trigger foods that I ate exclusively did not make me crave the wrong foods.  I was never hungry, and, in fact, I had to eat at scheduled times to make sure that I ate enough each day to reach my proper caloric intake.  Now, I have this energy drain.  A person only has so much energy to expend each day. I probably have more energy than most people my age, but I am more at ease when that energy is directed at improving relationships with loved ones, improving my business or focusing on recreational activities. When I am struggling, that energy is used to fight off urges and I become consumed with fear and concern over loosing control.

It's a lot of work to stay focused, but it can be much more work to get your focus back if you loose it. I will keep you posted on how I am doing and I welcome any input, ideas or methods you or someone you know may have that has helped.

You can do it. Take it one day at a time. Small portions, eat slowly, get up often and move around. You can have more later if you want to. No need to deny yourself the pleasure of family and food during the holidays. Where possible try to have foods prepared for you using the least harmful methods such as skim milk instead of cream, spray butter instead of cream sauces and remove the skin on the turkey. You really don't need the desert, but if you must have it try for the least harmful and keep the portions small. The key here is moderation not deprivation. Remember if you do good today you have a good chance that you will do good again tomorrow. I sometimes have anxiety attacks when confronted with all the food around the holidays. I try to keep myself busy with conversation, going for a walk or going outside to play with the kids. With me there is a fear factor, which I've learned to respect. I take it seriously and I know that this time of year has sent me off course in the past and I am determined to not let it happen this year. I hope that if you suffer from the same overeating disorders as I do that you are as determined as I am.

I am ten and a half years post surgery and I  still stay completely away from any and all fried foods. I also do not eat donuts or other bakery products unless they are homemade (low fat) and I know exactly what is in them ( no trans fats ) and what the calories are. I try to avoid processed sugars (candy and cakes) and I never drink my calories ( juices or soda). However I will drink juice if I juice it myself in my Juiceman.I will juice the fruits and vegetables that I don't like to eat but I know are good for me such as beets, blueberries, strawberries, parsley, broccoli stems and melons. I stay away from cream sauce of any kind. I limit my intake of pasta because for some reason it sits real heavy in my stomach and bothers me. I avoid white bread in any form (sliced,English muffin, bagel) and white pasta and sugar free beverages because they all trigger cravings for more of the same.  So I choose to stay away from them whenever possible. I eat red meat on a very limited basis and I almost never eat deli meats.

I do eat a lot of egg whites, canned tuna,fat free dairy ( cottage cheese, sliced cheese, milk ).  I eat baked chicken, baked or broiled white fish, turkey burgers and meatloaf, broiled scallops. I choose Beefstake lite Rye bread when I have bread and I eat a fair amount of bran and wheat based cereal. I eat baked sweet potato or baked sweet potato fries, and I eat yukon gold potato, mashed , with skim milk and fat free butter as well as fat free cheddar cheese for flavor. And lots of fruits and vegetables.

At some point in the near future I will post under a section called Eating Plan, what my 13 week eating plan is for the 13 weeks that began two days ago. Not that I expect anyone to follow my plan, but to hopefully subscribe to the concept that a plan is a very important element to success and you will design your own plan for eating within a time frame that works for you.

I am also of the same behaviour and will surely be following your blog site.

I have lost, to date, a total of 74 lbs and I can tell you it has been a total dedication to concentration. 

I have to always pull myself back and look at the road ahead.  I feel a lot better with this weight gone and have

a lot more to go, but with the help of my WW support group and my friends and family - I am succeeding.

It has been a longer road than I originally thought, but understanding the reality of it, and a lot of on going soul

searching, I didn't get here in one week and it won't take one week to reach goal.  The goal is change of habits for a healthier life style.

With all this said - it doesn't mean that I don't fall off the wagon at times, but I have been able to get back on track.

Thank you for sharing your experience and the willingness to help others in the same boat.